I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
