I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
