im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize