Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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