You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
