I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
