I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I think I just sharted jello shots
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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