I think i peed on brittanys purse
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
