Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
