anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize