I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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