your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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