I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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