she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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