Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
