Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize