My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You smell like stripper and shame
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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