Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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