it was like eating out sand paper
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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