i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just blew my weed a kiss
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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