Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
im holly from the hills drunk
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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