So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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