is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
