can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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