I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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