So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize
