I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
