You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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