I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My dick has a subreddit
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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