is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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