Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
