I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I look better un-naked...
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize