Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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