I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I think a kid would responsible me up
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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