Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
