you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
