Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
