Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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