i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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