Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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