its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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