Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
