i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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