well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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