Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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