My hand turned me down
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
