Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i think i have herpe
just one?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
