Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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