I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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