Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just found puke in my bra..
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
