So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
