dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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