he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
