Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
As shirtless as possible
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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