I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
