Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
