I showed him my bush... on skype.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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