that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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