ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
