I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just forgot I was standing up.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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