Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize